30,240 Minutes--How Do You Measure Three Weeks? (Sleep Deprived Ramblings)

--Bill and Tracy just make sense. My goodness he loves her. You see it in a million little things--the way he reached for her hand at the air port, the way his eyes lingered a little longer on her pictures, the way he scrambled to make sure she was comfortable...of all of the people I have ever met in the world, Bill has got to be one of the most sincerely genuine people there is. His concern is so real, his awareness so acute. He blows me away to no end. And I love Tracy. She just plain makes me happy. But they're adults (even if they're not "grown up")...and I'm not. I felt kind of foolish sitting with them tonight--like a kid with his first plastic checkers set watching two old men play on a marble chess board. I love them and they are right. I am glad they are back.

--Today's Hector's Birthday. A voicemail. That was it. I left a voice mail. I finally talked to him this afternoon for a minute. Is that how far we've drifted? A voicemail...a voicemail... It's not right--that was wrong...a voicemail. I'm a bad person (no reassurence needed).

--I'm gonna live alone next year. That walk from my car to the apartment at night is going to be very long and scary. I realized that driving home tonight. I'm scared. And I will be sad. I've just gotta prepare for that.

--Hippos have giant..er..equipment. I don't just mean big, I mean giant. Pretty gross, but very amusing I must say. Some safari has got some pictures..and some stories to tell..

--Having a hard time dealing with on stage/off stage playing myself at work. It's got me kinda messed up in the head. I try to keep the line very distinct, to be a light switch so to speak. It's kinda hard with guest interaction. I just have yet to find the right balance, and I'm starting to cop out.

--The time was golden, it's past but that doesn't lessen it. I write other people's words a lot, and rarely my own.

--I don't want to be gone for three weeks and come home to find you're gone. It's a long time--I'm afraid the world will change, I hope it does, but I want you there--I need you there. I'm afraid to leave you behind, afraid you won't be here when I get back...afraid I'll be gone. Not by choice...just the consequence of circumstance. I don't want that. I want you. No drama, just you. I love you. Know that. Believe it. Feel it. Breath it.

I love you.