Clean People!!!

To Whom It May Concern:

I have put off addressing this issue for some time for fear that my misgivings were in error, and such being the case I did not wish to begin making accusations that were unfounded. However, after careful observation and much introspection I believe my suspicions have been confirmed: Someone has been using my washcloth.

My suspicions were finally confirmed this morning when I took a shower, and for the third day in a row my washcloth was still covered in soap--not surface soap, deep seated brooding soap absorbed in the stitching. Now the soap was too deep seated to have simply dripped onto it, and one of the things I am very careful about is the amount of soap I leave behind on my washcloth, which is none. This is because while I am generally in support of the philosophy that soap is self cleaning, I believe that washcloths are not.

Now, sharing a shower inevitably leads to some things becoming "public domain" that would otherwise be considered "personal items." For example, there is only room for one bar of soap on the shower caddy, therefore I own that the soap is "public domain." I further own that shampoo and condition might be considered "public domain" as there is only room enough on the caddy for one bottle of each. However, as you will notice I have acquired ample amounts of shampoo and condition, and made room for them in the shower so as to allow for this item, which would otherwise be considered "public domain," to cross over and acquire "personal item" status. This in itself should demonstrait an interest and a desire on the part of myself to make and keep a distinction between sharable and non-sharable items.

Now, in general, it seems reasonable that items such as washcloths and razors should, unconditionally, be considered "personal items," and should, therefore, under no circumstances be shared unconsentually. The unconsentual sharing of personal items has the potential to lead to hygenic compromise, and the words "hygene" and "compromise" are two words that should never be used in the same sentence. This it seems, needs no explanation.

My question is, then: why is my washcloth being used by someone other then myself? Not only have I shown interest in the dividing of Personal and Public items, but it also seems logical and obvious that washcloths are considered personal. One could argue that it was not obvious that that particular washcloth was considered mine. However, let the record show that of the washcloths present in the shower, mine is the only one which is a color other then white. Further, my washcloth is blue--dark blue. Further still, that particular washcloth did not even exist under this roof until I moved in a month ago. Prior to that, that washcloth had only appeared in showers in Gainesville, as it is my personal washcloth.

Is someone in need of another wash cloth? If so, why not just get your own? Is there someone that assumes that I can not only read their mind, but also that I acknowledge my primary function as one whose design is rooted solely in appeasement of their every menial desire? If so, that is certainly not a person I want to be sharing a washcloth with.

In the event that my desires were thwarted by miscommunication and the general absence of logic before, please, everyone stop using my washcloth! And stay away from my razor! It's the purple one! The only purple one up there swimming in a sea of white! Let me make it a little more clear:

1.) Leave my stuff alone.
2.) My stuff includes: the blue washcloth, the purple razor, the Passion Fruit shampoo, the Juicy Green Apple shampoo and conditioner, the Ocean Breeze shampoo and conditioner, and the Citrus Smoothee shampoo and conditioner.

Thank You,
Management