Grrr To No Sleep--The world is blowing up the world is caving in the world has lost her way again but you are here with me, makes everything ok.

I'm lost and scared and alone again and I used to have a way with words before I discovered the value of silence...I would create a silence that would cover all of the world if I knew that you would fill it with your song. and I'm lost and broken and scared again because nothing I can ever do will be good enough. no words of mine will ever compare to your silence, and I'll keep that alive even if I have to die trying. and I'm tired and worn and tatered (to the threads of blouses in boxes in large colored buildings of toothpicks and cards on the table cloth embroidered with leaves on the sycamore tree beside the lake behind the forest past the trees of maple syrup on pancakes in the morning for breakfast at Tiffany's...) and I can't articulate for the life of me there's too much there to say too over full with happiness (enough to fill heaven over flow and fill hell) and nothing comes out but an empty scream the echo of a call of thanks and I wish for all of the world that I could say the words, that I knew what they were and what they ment (I know them I feel them but I'm afraid to say them) but my strings have been cut and I float in airy nothingness and I try to fix myself but I'm not broken but in you it's as though it's not enough and I know it so I don't try hoping you won't notice maybe you'll let me stand here a little longer if I keep my head down and my mouth shut maybe you won't discover my flaws, you won't know that I trip and spill and lie and decieve and I'm a hippocrite at the core and I try not to be, but in you I'm not without even trying..in you without even trying I am everything I've worked for...in you without even trying I'm everything I hoped to be...in you without even trying I am happy...I am happy.

it feels right, for the first time it just feels right.