Big Changes--Please Don't Hate Me

Alright guys, I have a problem. I'm in grad school. I'm in med school. I am in a medical graduate degree program. I just realized this.

Why did I just realize this?
Because I'm a slacker.

How did I come to realize this?
I'm failing. No, I don't mean Jen Failing. Usually when I say I'm failing I'm pulling a mid-range-high B, or I just got a B on an exam. No. I am literally failing. Like making 50%'s failing. Like going to get kicked out failing. Like almost cried when I saw the Biochem key posted cause I got less then 50% of the questions right failing, like Organic I failing, like gain 20 pounds cause I've been eating nothing but chips and oreos failing, like no more theatre failing, like no more internet failing, like no more movies failing, like you think you don't hear from me now oh you just wait failing.

I think I have to go on lock down. Which means I might have to limit the things I love..like things that are generally not related to school and generally involve you chosen few who read this. This is mostly because I'm fairly secure in my friendship with you fine people...and not so much with my ability to learn complex metabolic pathways. No offense, you guys are awesome and I miss the crap out of you but for serious, this stuff is kicking my ass...and has the large potential to um..keep kicking my ass and destroy quite a few tentative plans of mine. This is severe debt and familial disavowment..ism. This is whithered shell of a human being..ism. This is nonachievement and personal disappointment at its finest hour..ism. Not to mention a first hand look at the nature of the disentigration of the health care system.

Just letting you guys know, if you don't hear from me for a long long time (as opposed to now when you hear so much from me anyway..=] ), or if I'm short and snippy and jerkish to you for a while, don't worry--I still like you, I'm just trying very hard to save my ass...cause seriously it will be pawned to pay back my tuition.